Why we'll be okay...

After the past counseling session last week, and the 20 minute pre-evaluation we had today via phone - this is why I know we will be okay. Question after question was asked today...very specific questions relating to, I'm sure, a plethera of disorders. There was no feedback based on my answers, so the questions contined and I began to question what our life has REALLY been like the last 3 1/2 years we've been blessed with Milo. The "things" that I didn't realize were "things" were coming to light. To paraphrase: are there food/eating issues? yes. does Milo spin in circles? yes. does Milo have his own language (jibber jabber)? yes. is Milo intolerant to pain? yes. is he sensitive to sounds? yes. And the list goes on and on and on. So tonight, as I watch Milo spin in circles 5, 6, 7 times throughout the evening...I realize maybe he's been doing this for a while. Maybe I don't notice just how often he soothes himself by spinning. Maybe I don't realize he's soothing himself, because he doesn't act as though he needs soothing. As I listen to Milo say a fragmented sentence followed by "bcha bcha bcha bcha bcha bcha" several times throughout the evening, I realize how much more aware I am now of these "things". But this is why I know we'll be okay. This is our life. This is what we have grown accustomed to. This is our life that we consider "normal". To an extent, of course, considering I have known there was "something" for a while. Our abnormal life is normal to us...it's normal to Milo. And this is why we'll be okay. So if there's a label placed upon my son's amazing traits...we will be okay. Because we have been for 3 1/2 years now. I may get frustrated and cry sometimes. I may be exhausted all the time. But he is happy. For now, he is happy. And so I guess that means that we've been doing an okay job of being okay.

Progress...

My Milo...my monkey Milo. We are starting a process with Milo. We attended a counselling session yesterday for an hour and a half. About midway through the session, the counsellor began to ask specific questions relating to Asberger's syndrome. My hands began to sweat and I felt my throat swell and my eyes well up with tears. If you know me at all, you know I have always felt there was "something" with Milo. There was always something just a little off...maybe only something a mother would know. I'm not sure. But I have known since he was 1 that Milo was a special kind of special. As the session continued, Milo stayed in rare form (which for him is normal). He was his perfectly normal crazy awkward self. At the end of the session, the counsellor referred us to an Autism testing center. I don't know what will come of all this. I don't know if Milo has Asberger's. I know I do not want my child on medicine...I don't want them to take away his "specialness". But I need to know how to be a mommy to him. So whatever diagnosis they give him...whether it has a name or not...I just need to know. His life will be so much GREATER when we can all adjust our lives to his needs. I would like to ask for prayer. Pray for Milo to continue being a wonderful little boy. Pray for Isaac to continue to have patience. And pray for Kary and I to accept whatever God has in store for us and for Milo.